Phlebotomists are not X-Ray Techs

One time I went to the doctor. I made the call and set up the appointment all by myself with no incident. After explaining what I was in for, Doctor said she wanted to run two tests, blood and x-ray. She said if I’d go back to the lab, they’d take good care of me. 

I went and sat on the blue chairs outside the lab and waited for a minute before noticing a sign directing me to the lab. Unsure whether I was supposed to wait on the chairs or go straight back, I figured “hey, I’ll just ask.” 

Rehearsing exactly what I was gonna say, I walked back to the lab. When I got to the door though, the lady in the lab had her back to me. Rational Brain said, “just say excuse me,” and Anxiety said, “run, get out. What if she doesn’t hear you? It could be disastrous, no?” I am proud to say I didn’t run, but I did leave and resumed my seat outside the lab. The other ladies I was waiting with left and I realized I may not be in the waiting room for the lab. I tried again. This time there were two people and they both were facing the door. 

“Yay,” said Anxiety, “you don’t have to get their attention, but you did forget to rehearse what you were gonna say, so maybe this time let’s run?” 

I ignored Anxiety and spoke without checking in with Rational Brain first, “hi my doctor said I need a blood test in the lab, do I... do I come here for that?” My insides shriveled away from the plaque on the door that read, “LAB.” 

They tilted their heads at me, “Did Doctor tell you to come here?” 

“Yes.” 

“She’ll send an order down, in the meantime you can wait here on these blue chairs.” 

So I returned to my seat and waited for them to call my name.

 Turns out Phlebotomist was very nice and she, at least, didn’t show that she thought I was a little ridiculous. Since I was very focused on NOT passing out while they took my blood, I half forgot about the x-ray test.

When the phlebotomist said I was done and could go, I thought about asking her about the x-ray. My rational brain was apparently recovering from losing a little blood so I let Anxiety take over. Anxiety said “no don’t ask.”

The argument from Anxiety was sound, so I kept walking. When I reached the front desk, my Rational Brain had started to re-engage. She said, “ask at the front desk,” and Anxiety said, “no it’s okay, besides the front desk won’t know. Also... weird, am I right” and I was like “but... yes Anxiety, you’re right”

So I left and got in my car. I drove halfway home before Rational Brain said, “Doctor said you were supposed to have that test today, if you take it today you’ll know if that diagnosis is correct or not. Besides Phlebotomist probably said you were done because Phlebotomist is not X-ray-ist”

So. I flipped a u-turn. Drove back to the Doctor and said, “hi. I was here half an hour ago but I think I’m supposed to have an x-ray done? I just... forgot...” 

Now I’m BACK in those blue chairs and I’m thinking maybe I should just never leave them and also, does anyone know of any nunneries where they take a vow of silence?